I would like to share with you some of the best teaching I have experienced. Bishop Jakes speaks to us about Living On Purpose. Be Encouraged!
http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Full-Episode-Oprahs-Lifeclass-with-Bishop-TD-Jakes-Video
I’m Not Perfect…
There, I said it. But am I suppose be? God doesn’t require us to be perfect, but somewhere during my journey my mind conformed to the notion that perfection was the goal. I told myself that I had not achieved my dreams because I wasn’t perfect. I’m skinny, so I went to the gym and took protein supplements to become bulkier. I thought, surely this would make me worthy of the love and or attention that I thought I deserved.I watched and read everything that I could, so that I was “smart enough” to belong in the perfect circles. I thought that if I could achieve perfection then it would over shadow the fact that I was gay, and people would accept and love me, anyway. I even wrote a song about it, “Undone.” I penned, “All that I am and ever hope to be will not happen till I face my truth. I’m undone. You see my faults and fears there’s nothing left to say.” Talk about not walking the talk. I was singing about truth while being untruthful.
“When you do not show up as who you are, people fall in love with who you are not!”
-Iyanla Vanzant
We live in a society that seductively educates us about benefits of masks. Are you in pain? Take this pill to mask it. Do you want to be married? Dress this way, act this way, and change your body language. We change our hair color, physique, attire, school, neighborhood, and facial features, not to better ourselves but to mask our true identities. We have become experts at being everything and everybody but ourselves. The real damage lies in the fact that we are told that we are not enough. And just like many of you, I believed it.
I began a transformation about two years ago when I was laid off of work. I began to re-evaluate my life and who I really am. What I began to do is tell myself everyday, (in the mirror) “You are enough, just the way you are.” As the days progressed, I began to see all the ways in which I was masking my identity. I noticed how my voice or disposition changed depending on whom I was talking to. I noticed how I tempered my personality based on the groups I encountered. I noticed that I wasn’t being me and I slowly began to return to me. What I discovered was that I really am enough, just the way I am.
It’s still a daily challenge, and I have to remind myself often. I even wrote a new song to sing, “Anyway.” And what I know, without a doubt, is that I’m not perfect, I’ve got issues, and I’m still growing, yet I deserve love and am loved…anyway.
You Matter!
Every morning, you open up your eyes, is an opportunity to be 100% yourself. You are God’s gift to this world! You have a divine purpose for being here, and no matter: what people say, no matter what they do to you, no matter what kind of parents you had or have, no matter where your grew up, no matter your gender, no matter your economic status, no matter if you are straight, gay, or transgender, God loves you. So no matter what you are dealing with or going through, you have something unique and special to give this world that only you can give. So be you. Offer you full-self to this world, because YOU MATTER!
The Beginning - part 1
Man cannot live by bread alone, but by every word out of the mouth of God.
“Everyday it’s a struggle trying to hustle some dough. If you were raised in the hood, well then you already know. It be days it be good, but mostly money be slow. Have you ever been hungry be fo?” – Dead Prez.
It seems that lately my “normal” schedule has been anything but normal. Even as I write, tomorrow has crept into today. I remember days when I woke up with the sun and went to bed shortly after the moon came up. Now, I am awakened at 6:15am and the day doesn’t end until 1:30am the next morning. Why, all for the pursuit of money, money, and more money.
We desire the lives our parents didn’t have to give us. We want the lives we see on television. “What do we want, MONEY! When do we want it, NOW!” And now is the time, but many of us forget to live, NOW!
We often get caught up in the grind and forget to live right now, in the moment. We are working harder. We have gotten promotions and raises. Yet, we still put off that trip that we’ve been planning since we graduated from college. We have put our lives on hold for our families. We have sacrificed our dreams and our passions in order to get…there.
Somewhere, someone told us that there was better than here. Somewhere, somebody lied. There is never better than here. Or as my “big mama” would say, “the grass ain’t always greener on the other side, and if it is….they water bill is sky high.” Here is where we live and work, why not make the best of it? Here is the path we have chosen to travel, why not enjoy the scenery along the way? I am reminded of my 9th grade teacher saying, “half the fun is getting there!” But are you having fun? Or are we too busy being tired, broke, and disgusted to look at how healthy our families are? Or have we been on the grind too long to see all that we have accomplished and acquired over there years. Truth be told, we have more than our parents ever had.
If you are looking around and still aren’t happy….you are the author of your story. Write yourself happy! Resurrect you inner desires, dreams, and passion. Have a dream revival, right her and right now! But instead of associating your dreams with money. Know that your wealth is in your dreams. Bill Gates had a passion for computers and by doing his passion, he became wealthy. Donald Trump has an eye for prime real estate and has made a fortune with his gifts. Oprah didn’t set out to be a billionaire, but by following her passions she has become the most powerful woman of our time.
So the next time you find yourself dreaming of this phantasmagoric, bling-bling, bootylicious, storybook life, remember that the life you seek… just might be your own!
BY JUAN RAMÓN JIMÉNEZ
TRANSLATED BY ROBERT BLY
I am not I.
I am this one
walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget;
who remains calm and silent while I talk,
and forgives, gently, when I hate,
who walks where I am not,
who will remain standing when I die.
“Don’t should on yourself, and don’t let others should on you.”
Iyanla Vanzant
A woman goes to the doctor and tells him, “ When I throw my head back my neck hurts.” The doctor takes a moment, and to provide this woman with the soundest advice possible he says, “stop it… stop throwing your head back!” Many times we are just like this woman. We are creatures of habit and advocates of routine. Although it may hurt us in some way, we continue to do the same things over and over. Well guess what, STOP IT!
With Spring around the corner, many of us will begin to evaluate our situations and ourselves. We will begin to look at others and start making comparisons. “Look at them. They have a degree. They have the perfect marriage. They have the nicer car. They have the finest things. They have a nicer home. They own a home. Their children are smarter. They… They…. They…” At this moment we start telling ourselves that we “should” be further along. We “should” have all the things that “they” have. Next, comes the rationalizing. “Well, if I would have… things would be different.” Don’t “should” on yourself!
Many of us start the blame game. We recall instances where we didn’t make the best decisions, and we began to summarize our situations as punishment. If I hadn’t done this or that, then I would be worthy of more. Lauryn Hill so eloquently put it as this: “There are no big shots in reality. We are all going through the same things, same problems, and fighting the same demons… We all think that the Gospel is joining some church building, but the real Gospel is repent. Letting go of all that crap that has you down. Life is meant to be a pleasurable experience, not torment. Yet we torment ourselves. …That’s not God saying, “Feel guilty!” God is saying, “Get free!”
There you are, my people. Get Free! Get free from the “shoulds.” Get free from the negativity. Get free from all the crap that is weighing you down. Stop doing things out of habit that don’t support a healthy and prosperous life experience. And as someone once told me, “ …if your religion or place of worship does not enlighten, encourage, and support you, then STOP IT!” Stop participating and find one that does.
You must believe that you are where you need to be in your life. Instead of “should-ing” on yourself, stop and think… Everyday I get up; I am constantly beat down by negativity, deadlines, demands, and “shoulds.” Why am I joining in on my bashing? Why am I beating myself up, and when did I stop being on my side? When did I stop advocating for me? When did I stop being enough for me?
Realize that there will always be someone that appears to have a better body, better car, better mate, or better job. You must love yourself! Not just on Valentine’s Day or your birthday, but you must love yourself everyday. Stop comparing yourself to others because your findings will always be inaccurate. The Creator made each of us different on purpose. Each of us has our own unique fingerprints, yet we try to be just like someone else. Don’t get lost in the cloning process. Just be yourself and love yourself for every roll, wrinkle, and flaw.
So the next time someone attempts to should on you, before you join them ask yourself, “who’s side am I on?”
I hope it’s your own
here’s one from my archives:
A Brand New Me
“When I stand and view myself, I don’t want to see just a woman. Just a woman breathing and working, but a woman living! Before I was smoking, but (at 50 years old) watch out ‘cause I’m about to be on fire” - Oprah
For many of us it is a difficult and often stressful task. We struggle day in and day out trying to get ahead, and the notion of changing directions seems down right ridiculous. Change has its perks. It all depends on how you look at it. And change to the optimist, can be a much-needed reevaluation and boost in a new and exciting direction.
In recent months I found myself becoming a control freak. If the situation wasn’t happening like I planned, I blew up. If you got in the way of my plans, I carefully dismissed you as an obstruction. This unhealthy attitude led to a lot of stress. But since hearing this one phrase, my life has changed. “We plan, but Allah is the Master Planner!”
As I sit here at the Starbucks where I have written a large number of these articles, I am challenged even as I type. Here at my favorite writing space, the familiar “barista” has just informed me that today is their last day of operation. At first, I thought how sad. The place I have come to know and love is leaving. But then I thought, what a divine opportunity to find a new space, meet new people, and become inspired in new ways.
Change is constant! If you are growing each day, you are not the person you were last year, last week, and hopefully not the person you saw in the mirror yesterday. If you are, then you are not learning from your experiences and are missing out on divine opportunities to enjoy a new you.
Sometimes we as a people get caught up in our age, surroundings, and or current situations. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard, “I’m too old to change!” Newsflash- if you are not changing in an ever-changing world, you are standing still and might as well be dead. Someone recently said to me, “what are we gonna do next year? All the good television shows are ending this season.” I thought to myself, I am gonna live! While we are sitting home watching television, there is a world of things happening around us. We are rushing home at five to do less than we are capable of. And we can’t say that our children are hindering us. Children are portable, and will do anything for pizza. Plug in your VCR, get Tivo, or have a friend do it for you, but it’s time to stop watching life on television and start living life with the volume turned up to 10!
I am making a conscious effort to live with my life and not against it. I have partied until 6 a.m. this year. I can’t believe it myself, and it felt good. I have hung out till 3:30 am on a Tuesday night. I started going to the gym. I have a healthier diet. I have taken dance classes. I have taken up the guitar, and I have started talking to complete strangers while waiting in line at the Post Office (it makes the wait bearable). I don’t say this to boast but in hopes that ir encourages you to take today as an opportunity to do something different or to add something new to your experience.
In these summer days to come I encourage you to take your days off to get to know your family, they too grow and change, despite what you might think. I encourage you to open your eyes to a different way of viewing yourself. Reward yourself for the courage to get out of bed every morning and face this world. You are your best thing! Know this, love yourself for it, and be willing to step out on faith and try something new. I leave you with the words that encourage me everyday!
“When you’ve come to the end of all the light that you know, and are about to step off into the darkness… Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen. There will something solid for you to stand on, or you will be taught how to FLY!”
The mind can’t hold two opposing thoughts at the exact same moment. We must have to learn to select our thoughts, in every moment, just as we select out outfits each morning. YOU have the power to choose! …and ain’t that good news?
